To me, From me

Some have painting, some have music, some have sports, some have photography, some have their profession, some are still trying to figure out what theirs is (and they will) but for me, my passion is this...writing. 

This is the place where I can say what I am thinking and feeling and regardless if anyone else besides me reads it, I know that I put it all out there...exactly what I'm thinking. Writing is how I express my happy thoughts, sad thoughts, confused thoughts or whatever they may be- I know that when I sit down to write out my thoughts they just come naturally with no hesitation. 

So you would think with all of the things going on in my life in the past year I would be writing ten times a day, but it has actually been quite the opposite. 

I have had so much going on that I would love to share but I just haven't been able to find the inspiration, something that before I never even knew I needed...I've finally  come to realize it's something that I don't need, inspiration isn't what's been missing, instead it's been honesty. 

When I write, I am writing to me. 

I am sincere and honest in what I have to say. The last few months of life have been amazing, hard, confusing, happy, frustrating, tiring and quiet. 

Somewhere among all of those adjectives there came a point in my life where I couldn't write because I couldn't write to myself and know that it was sincere and honest. So I stopped. I would start typing and then just stop because I felt like what I was writing just didn't make sense with how I felt. It made sense with how I should be feeling with everything going on in life,  but when it came time to read over it I felt like I were writing to someone else or for someone else and that's not why I write.

So here I am, laying it all out there and writing to myself to say...

It is ok that I am not happy at work, it is ok that I will be 30 this year and not married,  it is ok that I said yes,  it is ok that I sometimes smiled when I wanted to cry, it is ok that it ended, it is ok that I let pride interfere with decisions, it is ok that I have had to hurt people, it is ok that I am having to hurt while at the same time feeling happy and relieved, it  is ok that it took me this long to accept that no matter what people choose to say or what people choose to believe, it is all ok. 

"For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining, is to let it rain." ~ Longfellow 

xoxo, 

Faith