At some point growing up we have all been playing in the pool with someone and they held us under the water. But what about that time someone held you under for too long? In a split second you went from laughing and playing without a care in the world except for hoping your mom wasn't right and you were ok to be swimming less than thirty minutes after eating that PB&J to hysteria, panic and thinking that the PB&J was suddenly no big deal-it didn't matter, along with any other care in the world because you were stuck. When that happened did you just sit there hoping that eventually this person would realize the fun and games were over or did you start to move around, wave your hands and let them know you were struggling?
If I had to guess I'd say it was the latter of the two, that just seems to be the natural instinct in us when we feel stuck....we try to get out.
I guess that same feeling of loss of breath is what I'm feeling right now in my "pursuit of happiness" and the reason that at 2:47am I am posting on this blog rather than sleeping.
We all have our ways of showing we are struggling and figuring out how not to and this/writing it out, seems to be where my answer on how to exhale begins or at least reminds me that I am able.
When I made the decision to really reach out on this pursuit I warned you that it would be a bumpy a ride with lots of emotions displayed through my posts. Well here I am a few weeks later and my emotion today is not one of defeat (not yet; not ever) but more like that same panic stricken feeling that consumed your body for those brief seconds that felt like hours when you were under water.
Fortunately, I knew and prepared myself for these moments so that when they came I would be able to throw my hands up quickly enough to let my obstacle know I'm not ok, I'm not super-woman and I can't hold my breath for more than a minute (even that may be stretching it haha) but instead that I am still well aware of what I need to breathe and even though it may come with a struggle, it's not the end of the world and it will come, I will be let up for air......eventually.
xoxo,
Faith
Background
A friend posted this on my FB referring to this post so I copied and pasted it here so I won't forget her words of wisdom :) Faith
ReplyDeleteKatie Pelton: Blogger wont let me comment but...I've been there a time or two and even going through the same thing right now. At least you know what you need and to let people know you need help! "Brick walls aren't there to hold us back, they're there to show us how badly we want things" -- Randy Pausch
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