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7.24.2015

Less of me, more of you.

Bam! I just got hit in the face with a God moment….I love when that happens! I am so excited I am going to spend my lunch hour sharing about it rather than running to TJ Maxx as I had planned on doing ha!

For anyone who follows my blog, you know that I have not been writing for quite a while. I never have been one to post daily but over the last two years or so, I have rarely posted at all. It is always encouraging to have people ask me to write again or to tell me that they miss reading what I had to say but still – my brain and the pen have just not been connecting like they used to….until today. I had a professor at Winthrop, Mrs. Miller. I have always known she was special and today is a perfect example of that.

I woke up on Monday with the words “Less of me and more of you.” on repeat in my mind. All week long I have repeated those words probably one million times silently and even aloud a few times throughout the day. I knew that this was a remind to stop getting distracted by the things I want to happen and to remember to want more of what God has planned for me but I also had a few other things on my mind that I knew this phrase was significant about at this moment. Restoring a relationship with a family member, preparing myself better for what is needed out of a future relationship and writing. Those three things have been so heavy on my heart all week. 
I have seen things happen around these concerns all week long and have had to remind myself that those things are not happening by coincidence, but they are happening because I have been praying “Less of me and more of you.” nonstop. It just so happens that God and I really do want the same things for me but I just need to remember that He is making them happen and not me!

So back to Mrs. Miller, she sent me an email today stating “I thought you might want to read this again.  Hope your life is happy and full of the best things in life.”  with an assignment attached  from where I wrote an Ethical Will from years ago.
Ummmm….wow! Not only does my ethical will start out speaking to the one person I need to restore my relationship with it also speaks about romantic relationships and it obviously lit a fire in me to write out my thoughts! I think I may have shared this excerpt from that same assignment many moons ago but I do not believe I am the only person who may need to be reminded of some of this so I will share it again….I hope you find as much reassurance in these words as I did way back when and as I do again at this very moment.

(Warning: There are a lot of points but they are short and simple :) Also, I removed the beginning part that was for my family's eyes only - sorry nosy people haha!)

Now for everyone else, I would like to share with you a few points that I have always strived to live by. Notice I said strived, so don’t be sitting there thinking off all the times, I didn’t, and instead be thinking of all the times ahead of you that you can!

When others let you down, don’t feel extremely hurt or surprised….We let ourselves down, how can we expect others not to?

Simple things, it is the simple things you miss when you lose something so remember to be thankful for and truly enjoy the simple things.  It is not possible to name one thing you cannot live without, but you can name a million things…realize that you need them all.

Talk to God daily, not just when you need Him….truth is, you need him daily so make sure you tell Him or He will tell you.

Smile.

Do not stay angry. Most arguments last a few minutes and are over….let them be over. At some point in time you will look back and not even remember what the argument was about.

Do not have regrets. Even if you wish you could change something, don’t. It may not have turned out how you expected but learn from it rather than regret it.
Stay involved, surround yourself with people, you will find that in helping others you also reap the benefits. It makes you feel good!

Don’t be afraid to let the things that made you laugh when you were a child also make you laugh today. Build sandcastles, swing on a tire swing, and eat ice cream before dinner.

Make your children each feel special. My mom still gives me a piece of candy or tells me a “secret” and tells me not to tell my siblings this makes me feel special…just as it does them when she does the same for them. Never tell mom you know she does this for each of you.

Do not settle. With another person or yourself, do not settle, always have what you know you deserve.

Remember we are all different, our little things, or idea of settling, or what makes us laugh is different. So never belittle someone else’s ideas, just understand that they are different from yours…chances are if you stopped pointing and joined in, you may be able to add a few things to your lists of simplistic laughs!

Remember that because it hurts does not mean it is wrong. The pain will go away but the situation won’t, so just know that you will get through the hurt at some point. Also remember that point does not have clock so do not give it one.

Trust. Some people say they trust until the trust is broken. Fix it. This is a hard one but fixing it is not the problem….allowing it to be fixed is the problem. If your trust is broken again then fix it again. This does not mean keep getting your trust broken from the same situation, it just means repair it and move on while remembering, just because it hurts doesn’t mean it’s wrong

Love your spouse unconditionally with everything in you.  If you truly do this, then many arguments will be avoided. Think about something you are truly passionate about, sports, children, your job…now think about how often you overlook the small stuff that can arise from this passion…be this way about your spouse.

Listen to people. Really listen. Don’t just hear, but listen.

Always remember people’s name. Nothing impresses them more or makes them feel important like being remembered. Even if they don’t remember yours, I bet they will remember you.

When you say you forgive, then forgive.
Forgiveness: To give up resentment of. –Webster
This is one of the only times I say to give up.

Nobody is made to flatter you, so when given a compliment, remember it is genuine and say “Thank you” instead of pointing out every flaw to show the person they are wrong. Just say thanks.

Always say what you need to say just not always as soon as you feel the need to say it. Write it out, put the note away, three days later read it…if you still want to say it without changing one small word on your paper then say it. But if you do want to change one word, then change it, put it away and try again three days later, continue this until it is ready to be said without changes or until you realize it never will be ready.

Take care of yourself. Do not go to the doctor only when 911 is in need of being called. Make sure you treat your body right…it’s the only thing that I can guarantee you will never leave you, it is always yours. How you choose to treat it at 15 effects how you have to treat it at 75.

Help people. Not only the people who help you or the people who would if they could, but also the people who can and never would…help them too.

Have fun.

When asked to keep a secret, keep it. Even if the person who tells you their secret tells a thousand other people you still keep it and as often as you may hear others speak of it, you don’t. Eventually this person will remember why it was so important to be classified as a secret in the first place…always know that you kept it just that, a secret.
When wanting to share your own secret, look in the mirror and share it with the person staring back.

Cry when you need to. Also, not only women were given tear ducts, there is a reason for that men…it’s ok to cry.

When stressed, If you pass an empty field, pull the car over, do a few kart wheels…the people waiting on you will understand or not believe you, either way I can assure you that once you catch your breath, you will be breathing better.

Send her flowers, buy her a dress, change the babies diaper and take her to dinner without needing a reason or special occasion.

Send him fishing, buy him a new Driver, change the air filter, and make him his favorite dish without needing a reason or special occasion.

Honesty is just as important to other people as it is to you…think of this kind of like you do the Golden Rule.

Be welcoming but not naïve.
Do your part and even above your part, but ask for help, there is a reason you are not the only person on earth.

Be thankful for your five senses…use them each for something good daily.

Remember to say always say Please and God Bless You.

Sip on your favorite drink. Taste your favorite meal.

Write important stuff down; remember to go back at some point read what you write down, to help you remember what is important and if it isn’t, if it should be.

xoxo,
Faith


1.02.2015

#whatiloveabouttoday2015

Eeeek!!! Where do I even begin?! My last post was January 8, 2013 and I promised myself I would not let my blog sit for over a year without any posts, so here I am!!! Don't judge - It has not been a year yet! :)  Seeing as how it is a new year, I think I will make a resolution that I have no more than a month between each post this year. In addition to the present, I also have the last 365 days to write about so you should be reading more from me since I definitely have plenty to talk about!!

To get things started, I am going to share an idea that I came up with this morning!

Social Media is a friend of mine, anyone who knows me, knows that! I post on Instagram and Facebook as if it were my job!! I often hear people say things like, "I don't need to post every minute of my life for it to be real...etc" and while I do agree I also think that there is another way to look at it. We have all wanted someone to hear a song. When I finally have that persons attention for three minutes to listen to the song, I talk the whole time; "did you hear that part?", "Listen to this next verse!", "Is that part true or what?" and so on! (I am even worse at this with a movie haha) Anyway, my point is, when you truly enjoy something; a song, movie, food or moments then there is nothing wrong with wanting to share those times. However, I know I can be guilty of  posting and never looking back at it so I decided to create a new hashtag, #whatiloveabout2015today

How it works: At the end of every day I am going to reflect back on my post throughout the day and add the hashtag to my favorite moment of the day. Not only do I get to smile about that moment again right then but how exciting will it be this time next year when I click on #whatiloveabout2015today and see those moments again? Join in on the fun if you want!!!  I would love nothing more than to see your favorite post of the day too!

No matter how tough some days might be, we have to be able to find at least one #whatiloveabouttoday2015 moment in each day to get to the next!

xoxo,

Faith

1.08.2014

A Gentle Reminder...

Goodness gracious! I know we all have our own bit of "drama" but it amazes me how some share so much of it with the social media world. My mama always told me, 'whatever people are doing in the open they are doing way more behind closed doors' - this is probably why I a still act like a 5 year old when a boy tries to hold my hand in public haha!
Yes, this is a repeat post that I originally posted this in 2010 but after seeing a few of my friends posts on Facebook recently, I think that a reminder is good for us all every now and then.
I hope that those of you who allow your significant other to "disrespect" you (in my opinion) will print this out and post it somewhere so you both are reminded daily. Yes, this is geared towards respect for females but I know that we women also have our responsibilities as well - one of the first is for ladies who do have men that are respectful to....Remember to appreciate it and not to expect it - be sweet ladies and remember your worth - you set the price so don't be a clearance item!

Enjoy!


I honestly believe the South’s male population has forgotten what a true gentleman signifies, I can’t necessarily blame them. Perhaps it’s the wave of feminism sweeping the nation that has so wrongly transformed our men. After all, why would a man open a door for a woman who constantly declares that she’s strong enough, capable enough, and independent enough to do it on her own? Or, perhaps acting in a gentleman-like manner isn’t the “masculine” way to behave in today’s midst of rebels, outlaws, and “bad boys” that women so dearly crave. So guys, believe it or not, I truly sympathize on your behalf. However, let that not be an excuse. If you expect to find a truly charming, intelligent, and graceful southern belle to stand by your side through thick and thin, you’re going to have to step it up. It’s only fair. So with that in mind, let’s get started.
According to Southern Byways and eHow, a true southern gentleman should do as follows:

1. Open doors. This one should be a given to any man who was raised right. Yes, women are perfectly capable of opening doors for themselves, but it shows a sense of respect that every woman should appreciate.

2. Carry heavy things. Again, women are not porcelain antiques, but they should be treated as so.

3. Mean it. Unfortunate for you, women have a way of detecting insincerity from a mile away. So don’t say something unless you mean it, don’t act in one way if you don’t mean it, and surely don’t make a promise if you don’t mean it. Nobody has time for childish games.

4. Live your beliefs. Stand up for what you believe in and never back down (don’t confuse this with stubbornness). More importantly, allow your actions and way of life speak for itself. Anyone who knows you should know what you believe in, whether you’ve told them or not. Remember, actions speak so much louder than words.

5. Do unto others. After all, it’s the golden rule. If you wouldn’t wish it upon yourself, don’t dish it upon others.

6. Smile. Nothing says “hello” like those pearly whites.

7. Be responsible. You’ve outgrown those diapers, so it’s important to act like it. You shouldn’t be babysat, looked after, or watched. Just be responsible by paying your bills, doing what’s right, and getting your work done.

8. Expect resistance. Especially from any true southern belle. If it’s worth having, it won’t come easy.

9. Say “Please” and “Thank you.” Anyone with manners knows the importance of this one.

10. Compliment women. Southern gentlemen aren’t shy about flattering women, nor do they hesitate to shower them with compliments. If you think her eyes are pretty, tell her. If she doesn’t appreciate it, move on to the next one. She wasn’t worth your time anyway.

11. Respect your elders. This requires a sincere use of “Ma’am” and “Sir,” unless told otherwise.

12. Be polite. Contrary to popular belief, ladies don’t like “bad boys” who treat them badly – only insecure girls do, and it’s important to know the difference. Being anything less doesn’t get you anywhere other than someone’s bad side. ( The Southern Advantage gives an excellent example of true southern politeness: If Donald Trump was from the South, he’d say “you’re fired, but bless your heart, you’ve tried.”)

13. Offer your coat. Especially if you’re just getting to know a woman. You can offer your arm, but only after you’ve reached a truly comfortable level. This is not the time to make any moves, so don’t even think about it.

14. Pick her up. But don’t ever be too insistent, as it may come off desperate. If she wants to meet you at the restaurant on the first date, let her. She’s only ensuring her safety and should be allowed to do so. However, never fail to offer.

15. Allow her to order first. Take care of her needs first, or at least offer.

16. Dress the part. When in public, always be presentable (yes, this means you should know how to tie a tie). Women love to follow the old saying, “Look your best, but more importantly, hang your arm on someone who looks his best too.” So make it easy for her. After all, every woman loves well dressed gents.

17. Learn how to speak when with a lady. Although she may like to get down and dirty, she’s not “one of the guys,” so watch the language and treat her with respect.

18. Flirt. This may sound odd, but southern gentleman are avidly flirtatious. However this is not to encourage any vulgar or sexual comments. But let’s face it – southern gentleman flirt with most women they come across – whether the old lady down the street, the waitress at the diner, or his girlfriend/wife. They simply know how to make women feel good and enjoy doing it.

19. Remember chivalry. Contrary to popular belief, it truly does exist. Give up your seat for a woman (not just the elderly), stand when a woman enters the room, always walk on the outside of the street, always pull out her chair, and bring her flowers.

20. Always defend a lady’s honor. Never allow a man at the bar to speak to her in an inappropriate manner, and offer to walk her to her car. Remember, a woman will always admire a man who can protect her.

21. Be a man of your word. As eHow so graciously puts it, “a Southern gentleman is a man of his word. He is faithful to his wife, faithful to his church (if he is religiously inclined), unfailingly honest, and lives by a code of nobility. He is a genuine man in a world full of posers.”
Thank you eHow, I couldn’t have said it better myself. So gentlemen, do me a favor and restore the chivalry which was once so prominent across the southlands.

By studying the previously listed ways of becoming a southern gentleman, acquiring the essential attire, and complimenting like crazy, you’ll be well on your way to becoming the next southern stud. But I must warn you- southern women have a sense of mystery that can make any pursuit challenging. Although well spoken and mild-mannered, their intellect and sassiness can leave you wondering. Luckily, today’s social media has the ability to alleviate some of your worrying woes as personal statuses plaster the Internet. Filled with daily activities, heartbreak stories, and personal insight, you may be able to decode her true emotions from a quick glance of her online status.
(Southern Charm 4/27/10 Blog)

xoxo,
Faith